Wednesday, 15 August 2007

I'm just not a car person

Most dudes are really into cars. I honestly know jack shit. All i know is how to drive em cars and I dare say i'm pretty good at parking. I've driven (on a regular basis) a Proton(my first car), an Atos (my 2nd car), a Wira(dad's and angeline's), an Iswara (mum's), a Perdana (ex gf), Vios (ex gf) and recently, i've been driving a GL 240 old school Volvo (angie's). Apart from those, i've also driven my brother in law's Mazda Fighter and his MX5 and numerous other cars during nights of drunken stupor.

Anyhow... i think i'm a decent driver with a reasonable road sense, one who's not a speed demon and has a nick of being able to park any vehicle in tight spots. I remember one nite when i was on a date with my recent ex, she said that it was impossible for me to fit my dad's wira between 2 cars and one of em narrow streets in desa sri hartamas. Well i proved her wrong. Lol.
However, i really know jack shit about cars. I'll probably be able to distinguish and identify main parts like 'Door', 'Window', 'Battery', etc... but once u people start talking french like 'alternator', 'water pump', 'distributor', etc, etc, i just blank out!
Today the GL240 Volvo died whilst in motion. Here I was, driving 2 hot babes, Shuk Yee and Serena to desa sri hartamas for some jap lunch, and my car died in motion. Gosh, it was super malu-fying. Firstly, i had to calm the 2 hot babes down coz everyone was warm, restless and hungry. Then i needed to calm myself down before i blow my top and start breaking everything in sight.
Anyhow, as alwiz, i called my Dad. This is what transpired.

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Me : Pa, the volvo brokedown in bukit tunku.

Dad : What's wrong with the car?

Me : It just died whislt driving and now i can't start the car.

Dad : What sound does it make when u try to start the car?

Me : erm... kakakkaakakakakaakaka (something like dat)... then i pandai pandai said 'maybe its a problem with the starter' (like hell i know what a starter is, or if there's such a thing as a starter in a car)

Dad : Probably. Do u here a spark sound at the end as u try to start the car?

Me : (wtf?)... errr... 'No' (guessing)

Dad : could be the plugs are out

Me : err.. i guess.. (what is he talking about.. what plugs)??? maybe you're right Pa,.. its a problem with the plugs... i think so too

Dad : hmmm... are u sure the battery is working fine?

Me : (confidently).. yes... the lights are all on! (1 point for me)

Dad : hmmm.. (deep thought)... perhaps it could be an alternator problem.. its not charging up right or at all...

Me : hmmm... i didnt think of that Pa, (what the hell is an alternator?) that could be the reason eh.... (so that Dad wont go on in French)... Pa, tell u what, i'll leave the car here first, i've got my friend to fetch me... i'll go have lunch... then try to look for a foreman to check the car....

Dad : good idea... no point asking Afro (our family mechanic based in Cheras).. to go all the way there...

end...


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Sigh... after the conversation, i felt so like a blonde.... what the hell was my Dad talking about? How does he know so much bout cars? and how come i know jackshit?

Anyhow... the car's starting to be a liability. Finally got a foreman to check it out (got one from the net).. he told me its something to do with the distributor / distribution... i went... WATEVER DUDE.. can u fix it like now... he said... HELL NO... need to find the part... well.. .watever la..

So now... i'll wait patiently for the tow truck to collect my car and tow it to Cheras - back to the reliable hands of Afro. Damn it... my Atos is still in the workshop. I havent collected Sarah's Kancil. Wtf am I gonna do for transport tomorrow? sigh... this sucks...

Anyhow.. to Shuk Yee and Serena... sorry bout the trouble.... thankfully Joe came and rescued us and we managed to have a decent good Jap lunch... I'm gonna do Jap dinner tonite (hopefully)... join me if u can... to Joe... (thanks for all the trouble) 1 - for rescuing the 3 of us to lunch... and 2 for leading the foreman to check the car and then ferrying me back to office...

To Dad... THANKS! YOU're THE MAN!!!!!


That's me and the damn car, with me trying to start the car whilst the foreman (from the net) investigates!

That's what's wrong with the car. U see that square thing, connected to the round thing, with the black thing, and the 6 cable thingy, and the fully rusted thingy, with the oxidised thingy and the white cap on the blue shit... oh whatever... who am i to kid?

10 comments:

AngryYoungChild said...

wah i dont understand also..-_-

anfield devotee said...

Eh, how can u say such things, I believe u had a blast driving me convertible. More importantly, u thought the 69 Mini I bought was great, in fact the 73 Mini (green one with 1275 GT engine & 12" wheels) u thought was awesome!!! C'mon dude, great cars will break down, but at least u break down in style ...

anfield devotee said...

sorry, have to leave another comment. Your dad has had great some pretty fookin cool cars in his collection from what I hear. He has had a Fiat 5oo (possibly an Arbath souped up one) with suicide doors before he even married yer mum plus a super cool Ford Cortina 2.0 (with rare black roof) with fuel injection super saloon which won a whole load of rallies! Now u know where u dad gets his shit!!! Haiyo . . .

SLACKER said...

AYC - hahaha... you and I both!


Anfield Devotee - hahahhaha..... the Fiat 500 was his first car.. he had that while courting my mum... as for the Ford Cortina... it was the car i grew up in... i remember helping dad to warm up the car every morning...

hey bro... the volvo broke down.. but i had 2 hot chicks with me... so i did break down in style! even if it was a kancil... i'm alwiz in vogue!

Cirnelle said...

What? A volvo can break down?

SLACKER said...

cirnelle... its a volvo - hence why it broke down!

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wahahahaha...the volvo shall rest in peace..and about time too..

i bet mayb ur dad also didnt know half the words..haha just like poker..u just need to put on a show wahahah...

SLACKER said...

hey my dad quite good with cars one la...

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

eh suggest u reproduce this at belowthetigger ar..hahaha

paskal said...

hoho my father also drive volvo. 244GL type. very good car, never make any problem. just short of air-cond, which makes me burning in the noon while driving it. :P